There have been quite a few times where I have opened up a new post page and wanted to write something, anything down, but I just haven’t. I think it comes down just not wanting to think about the random things that have been occurring in my world lately. There hasn’t been anything particularly bad, but I don’t care to have it all swarming in my head when it comes time to express it.

For one, the ex hasn’t been his typical awesome self. Ignoring me for days on end, if not an almost an entire week, and subsequently leaving me without transportation, save for my own two feet and the kindness of Jess and a few other guys on the random occasion. I honestly can’t complain too much about having to walk, primarily to work and back, since it’s the only real exercise I really get lately. I even bought a new pair of walking/running shoes to help with the aching feet, since making the 15-20 minute trek to and from in my work shoes wasn’t working out. Yes, I have other pairs of shoes to make due, but aside from a pair of running shoes I’ve had since I before I was out of the military, they weren’t too great for my feet in that respect either. They’re really light and ever-so-slightly put a literal bounce in my step. It’s kind of amazing how I forget what a good pair of shoes can feel like!

I had my first wax a few weeks ago. Not just any, though, but a full-on Brazilian! I was actually amazed that the part that I thought would hurt the most, didn’t at all! I also got a great deal for being a first-time customer. The price to maintain the wax is fairly steep at the place I went to, but I may keep it going for at least a little bit to see if it what they say is true if you keep waxing. I’m talking about the hair growing back slower, it being less painful, the growing back less itchy & annoying vs. shaving, etc. I was kind of sad that I didn’t get to put the landscaping to use, though, LOL. What a waste. It was amazing how smooth I felt and NAKED!

My best friend here, Jess, is moving about 40 minutes away, to the north. When she told me, it brought tears to my eyes on a night I already felt bad. She works closer to where she’ll be living, but she still has school down here, so I won’t NOT see her, but I definitely won’t be able to see her as often as I was, which makes me real sad.

I had a night where I had a pretty bad anxiety attack. It was brought on by learning the ex had blocked me from Facebook and he had started ignoring me completely and I was trying to figure out what to do with the divorce situation, as well as myself and how I’m going to live my life after it all. Needless to say, there are a LOT of things I need to take by the horns and tackle to get started. I think it’s a little more difficult for me since I don’t have a deadline to stick to. I think I’m motivated more by deadlines as it forces me to get things done. It didn’t help me in school, but with actual life responsibilities, it feels like a different story. One of the things I’m going to try and achieve is getting on full-time status with my job. There’s a lot of free time that I could do without having and I could definitely do with the income, especially if I’ll be living on my own in the near future!

As for other random things I’ve been thinking about, mostly prefaced by “Why…”:

• … did I consider it a good idea to stay up until 6 in the morning today? It is my weekend, but I still will never really enjoy being awake while the sun rises.
• … do I get myself into the strange situations with boys that I do? There’s been nothing bad, just awkward and not conducive to becoming a stronger, wiser individual.
• Should I let Gunny continue to try and annoy the hell out of me in attempt to get me to feed her or give in? Eh, it’s time for another feeding, anyway. Give in, it is.
• … did I think it wouldn’t be so cold out when I decided to have the rare at-home cigarette? As a person with experience in weather forecasting, I should know that the coolest part of the day is in the early morning hours.

One thing I would really like to do is get check-ups across the board. Girly bits, general health, and in particular, my tonsils! I have a hell of time with them being swollen so often, and that’s on top of them being larger than normal anyway. I also have problems with tonsilloliths¹, especially since they actually cause some bleeding when I managed to dislodge them and I’m sure they don’t help with my breath. Talk about some appetizing conversation for breakfast, huh? I don’t get large ones like some of the examples provided on the wiki page, but they’re numerous and it’s not fun.