Mikachu · nu

There is nothing more cumbersome than not being able to escape shit when it is coming at you from multiple directions. Even worse, when shit from at least one direction just doesn’t seem to give any indication that it’ll be easing any time soon. Talk about a drag.

It’s really brought myself to the forefront and what I choices I have, what I could realistically manage on my own, and what I need to just do. However, making a plan and putting it into action is kind of difficult when you’re me because I’m queen of that kind of shit. It’s also a matter of pride, not that I have much right now. How much pride can you possibly have when you’re married to a guy that, ultimately, probably just doesn’t give a shit? I haven’t done anything that I can seriously be proud of in a while and that’s eating away at my self-confidence. I need to do something for me and soon.

One thing that helped take some of that “I’m trying but not really getting anywhere” pressure off was stepping down as an admin on Veracity. I was trying to be as helpful as I could, but the truth was, I just wasn’t. I didn’t have the experience and aptitude to take care of things to help Jenn out where she most needed it. Thankfully someone else stepped up and there’s a good team in play at various levels to help take care of things now. Communication with members is up and running and that’s always a good thing!

This week I suffered from either a flu or, I’m thinking, tonsillitis. I went to a manager’s house for a get-together and halfway through I started feeling absolutely crummy. I ignored it and stuck it out for another hour until a bunch of others started leaving and made my way home from there. When I got home, I was just overwhelmed with body aches and chills. I’m not sure if my skin feeling sensitive to everything would fall under either of those, but I had that, too. I went to work the next day not feeling as crappy, but that didn’t last long. Thankfully my shift was short and when the husband picked me up, we stopped by the supermarket to get some illness goodies. He was inside and apparently a little old lady asked him what he was looking for and he told her about his sick wife. She asked about my symptoms and from that she surmised I had the flu, so she helped him pick out some teas¹, flu medicines, honey and lemons. She instructed him on what I should do with it all and wished me to feel better. What a sweet gesture! It makes me miss my mommy. She’d be doing something like that for me. I downed some NyQuil², tried some of the tea³ and slept. Thankfully I had the next two days off. I slowly felt better day after day, but I still have issues with my tonsils and for whatever reason, my taste buds are messed up. It’s as if my bitter ones are still at 100% but all of the others have been anywhere from 25-75%. It’s kind of gross. I’d say it’s worse than having a completely stuffed up nose and not being able to tasting anything at all! I looked it up and it apparently can happen if you take too many antihistamines, which I did the first day I started treating everything in case I was having some sort of allergy attack.

Now the husband is suffering from some form of what I had. He’s coughing, though, which isn’t a symptom I was suffering from, thankfully. He had an awful day of overtime today/tonight and he came home tired and sick as hell, which strangely enough, resembled him drunk and ornery. Needless to say, I wasn’t amused at his attitude, even if he is sick and had a bad day. I actually was stuck at work for almost 2 hours after I clocked out, waiting for him to pick me up. I was getting more pissed thinking he’d gone out after work to have some fun with his friends⁴ but he really wasn’t let off work until almost 2 hours after I was off. Two ornery people doesn’t make for a good time, but other than the messages I sent him wondering where the eff he was, I didn’t shit on him more since he was so bad off. I hate when I want to be angry⁵ but I should actually be feeling sympathetic. Eugh. Talk about a conundrum.

My mom tells me that the husband and my dad are so very much alike in their personalities… I really feel for her more than ever, since they’ll be married 28 years this year.

Time for an update on life!

1. Saturday was my grandma’s 80th birthday celebration. I love spending time drinking, eating & talking with my family. They’re awesome!
2. Today, I participated in my company’s annual Southern California bowling tournament for the first time with 4 other of my coworkers. We bowled fairly well, but not well enough to bring home a trophy, unfortunately.
3. There has been a lot of driving back and forth from SD to LA. Sometimes together with the husband, sometimes alone for either of us.
4. Saturday of last week, I played a good game of capture the flag with about 16¹ of my friends from high school. I ruined a new pair of flats, but my team won and it was great fun! I miss and love my high school friends.
5. Wednesday, the husband will be leaving for Costa Rica for a week for his dad’s wedding. I’m not going due to the last minute decision that he WAS going, since it would’ve been double the hassle to try and get both of our passports replaced and costly, because they’d have to be expedited.²
6. Mid March, I’ll be going to the Zinfandel Festival with my parents, specifically the party at Tobin James. It’ll be 3 years since my parents took the husband and me for our first official foray into wine tasting. I’m excited :D
7. My mom is making it her mission to get me down to see Costa Rican, and since I’m not going with the husband this time around, she’s planning on a family trip during December(?) of 2012. I love my mom

There are still two more LA trips due in the next two weeks, primarily to drop the husband off at the airport & pick him up… I’m eager to not go anywhere soon, though. Also, there may be a month in the near future that I’ll be spending up in LA, at my parents’ house, spending more time with friends since it’s pretty damn lonely down here with just the husband and I. There’s a lot of tension and we both need some space, but I’m finally looking at it as a good thing for me as well, and not just the whole giving him space part. I need some too, and there’s no better place to do it than with my awesome parents and family and friends :D

In other news, things have slowed down at Veracity, but I think it’s because it’s a new board and there’s so many things going on and we’re still working out kinks and the growing pains, and all… There are still some great activities and topics to take part in so, come and join! Tell ‘em Mika sent you

I have been here at Angel, Robby, & Kristen‘s house since Wednesday evening. I’ve gotten quite used to the menagerie of animals around me. 7 cats, 3 dogs, 2 ferrets. It’ll be interesting to see how well all the cat hair comes off my clothes once I get back home *lol*. Certain articles of clothing attract and hold on to the hair a lot better than other pieces.

I’m trying to remember what I haven’t already talked about. My mind’s not functioning as well as it could be.

Halloween, how about that? I definitely haven’t talked about the Halloween party I attended this past Saturday night. Holy cow. I was bombarded by the host, Mike, trying to have everyone consume all the damn jello shots he made. I kept taking them, except for the very last one which after verbally denying it, I slapped it out of his hand. It had a lid on it! There was no mess from my slappage! He also managed to snake me into eating a cherry soaked in everclear. Holy shit has my mouth never burned that badly! I couldn’t keep it in my mouth, I had to spit it out. I’ve never had everclear. Angie encouraged him to offer me one and I didn’t know how bad it was going to be.

It was a very fun night. I passed out around 4am, I think. I was still drunk when I was woken up to leave and head back to the house in the morning. Blerg. I ended sleeping for about 6 hours after we got home. Since the blow-up mattress was still in the car, I just slept on the floor in the room I’ve been staying in. I was trying to sleep away the argument I had semi-successfully started with the husband. That was dumb for me to do, especially since I absolutely hate when the situation is reversed.

I’ve missed him quite a bit. As many issues as we’ve been having, I love him and miss him just as if we weren’t having the problems we do. Two more months until our 5th wedding anniversary. Wow. Saying that out trips me out a little. Married five years? Shit, son.

Tonight was my sister-in-law’s engagement party. Although, I don’t know if she’s actually my sister-in-law considering her dad and the husband’s mom haven’t been married. They’ve been together forEVER though… if California recognized common law marriage, I’m sure they’d fall under that.

The party was very nice. It was held at an aunt’s house which was gorgeous. It’s as nice as a million dollar tract home can get! It’s up on the hills just on the north side of the San Fernando Valley so there’s a pretty great view from the backyard. It was catered (informally so) and come the toasts, it made me really wish the husband and I had gone the traditional route instead of just up and eloping, leaving everyone else in the dust. I know wedding festivities get expensive, but it’s the whole making those memories with family & friends as the date approaches.

Our two families didn’t really get to know one another until way after we were married. We don’t have photos of us smiling like goofs, happy to be approaching that ceremonious day… I know a lot of people actually prefer that, but I’m kind of a traditionalist and would have loved to be fawned over and bring the families and friends together over the love my husband and I have for each other. It’s a bummer to me.

Don’t worry, though, I don’t spend my time dwelling on the lost memories (and gifts and debt lol) that a wedding would have brought. It’s only when it comes up for others that I feel that whim of loss. Of course, I’m excited for the betrothed! My SIL and her fiance are adorable together. They compliment one another so well! It’s almost gross how cute they are lol.

I do have it in the back of my mind that I’ll get a celebration near one of our upcoming anniversaries in the form of a vow renewal. Not this year, but maybe next year. This year would’ve been nice since it’ll be our 5th wedding anniversary (OMG!) and it would’ve been a nice milestone to celebrate in that fashion, but every year is a milestone for us at this rate! We were married at 19 & 18 (me & him, respectively), so that puts us at a disadvantage since I’ve already seen a handful of young marriages end. We’ve had our issues and we’re still working things through, so really, I’m taking it day-by-day at this point.

I’d say a big thing going in our favor is we don’t have children yet to think & stress about while we’re working on things together.

PS: NINETEEN DAYS UNTIL MY BIRFDAY! It’s now officially AUGUST :D

Wednesday I woke up early for a doctor’s appointment and ended up having to redo something that required narcotic pain killers so I had to call out of work. It was my last shift before going on vacation for 10 days so I felt awful about it – but I doubt they know or care

Before I headed home, I bought a replacement power supply for my laptop at Frys. It was very quick since I brought with me my other one. My new one, though, is a tiny bit loose so it’ll disconnect from the laptop and it’ll cause this shrill beep. I can’t, for the life of me, figure out how to turn off that sound since it’s not part of the normal sound schemes. It’s the actual system making the sound and it’s SO obnoxious.

I managed to NOT find my eyeglasses before leaving with my brother from SD to LA. Half-way through driving up, my husband calls and tells me he found them. I left them on our washer/dryer, but since I had the door closed to the area it’s in, I didn’t see them. I didn’t even remember putting them there until he told me where they were. I’m debating on whether I want to have him mail them to me (in their case!). I’ve got to mail him his asthma medication he left in my brother’s room on Tuesday… luckily I have some leftover Christmas stamps in my large wallet that I brought with me. Oooh! I also found some First Class stamps! Nice, I thought the husband took them. I’ll be able to send post cards & letters.

I say I’m going to send people post cards & letters but I never end up doing so. How sucky is that? I still have post cards address to people from YEARS ago. Shame on me!

I’m going to have quite a bit to read while I’m up there. I brought with me a few books and bought two more while I was out today. I just added them to my currently reading shelf on Good Reads. If you’d like to check it out (there’s only a handful of books on there that I’ve actually read) and/or add me me as a friend, go right ahead! http://www.goodreads.com/mikachu

I should get in a nap before we leave in a handful of hours. I miss my husband already, even if things aren’t great & perfect My loving him never changes *sigh*

PS: I’m embarrassed that I didn’t do the last day of Project: Blog! What a bummer! There are a few days I missed… That’s a bummer, too.