1. Honesty
What’s a good friend if you can’t be honest with each other? I know some people may prefer others who can say what they want to hear. As much as I don’t want to hear certain things sometimes, a good friend is there to make sure I hear it. Whether it’s said with diplomacy or in a way you hate them for a short while after, they’ll do it because they want you to be better for it.
2. Understanding & Empathy
Not everyone is cut from the same cloth and not everyone has experienced the same exact thing, but that doesn’t dilute our ability to open our minds to others and imagine what it is to be in their shoes. People make stupid decisions and put themselves in poor situations but we also just go through things that are good, bad and out of our control. We make judgments on other people, even our friends, but staying open and able to just be there to a friend when they aren’t having the greatest day or being a bit stupid, big or small, is helpful.
3. A Balance Between Selfishness & Selflessness
Why not just selflessness? Because I’ve seen friends be bled dry by other people because they couldn’t say “No”. Those who take take take make people who give give give become resentful and distrustful. Having somebody who doesn’t know how to take can be exhausting, as well. Giving compliments, time, gifts, anything and they constantly turn it down or say they don’t want or deserve it grows annoying after a while. You’re my friend, as much as you should be giving, you should be taking as well. That’s why we’re friends.
4. Trust
It’s kind of plain and simple. Being able to trust your friends is big. It’s so easy to lose. Finding out a “friend” is talking about me behind my back? Knowing they feel one way about something but said the opposite to my face? Running your mouth about something I told you in confidence? There’s no relationship without trust. If there is or was a relationship, it becomes almost purely superficial once that trust is broken. I have enough of those lying around, I don’t need or want anymore of those.
5. Sense of Humor
It helps if the sense of humor is anything at all like mine – which can get on the morbid, dirty and inappropriate end of things. It helps keep our avenues of communication open if we know we can joke about things
6. Availability
It’s nice to have a friend available when I need them – and I’ve needed a friend hardcore at strange times lately. I know that if I’m needed by a friend at anytime, I’d be there for them, even if I have a poor habit of picking up the phone heh (I check my messages all the time, btw!). Just knowing that I have somebody there whenever I might need them is a huge comfort.
7. A Life
Having interests, desires, a personality, goals, being uniquely them… A life influences another and knowing others who are content with being themselves instead of leaching off or forcibly infecting someone else’s life. I love getting to know unique people and expanding my horizons.
8. Effort
As badly as I fail at this sometimes, it’s helpful when other friends still take the effort so I know that even when I’m falling behind, they’re still there for me.
9. Follow Through
It breaks my heart when people make promises and break them. Whether it’s to me, or to yourself, be person enough to either keep your word or don’t make a promise at all.
10. Don’t Make Too Much Fun of Me
As much as I make fun of myself – which is a lot, it begins to hurt a little when I’m always being ragged on. It makes me feel like I’m not respected at all and I’m just a fun punching bag. If you make fun of me often, at least throw in some stuff that’ll make me feel good about myself heh.
