Mikachu · nu

How do you recover from a bad break-up? The proverbial pint of ice cream? Quality time alone? Going out with friends? What are your personal healing strategies?

It’s been quite a while since I’ve gone through a break-up. The first break-up I remember, in middle school, I thought was amicable (I initiated) until I walked past him telling a few other girls some crap about me. That was bizarre! I just kept walking, completely baffled.

The next break-up was from his end while I took it, I wanted to at least remain friends and he ended up treating me like the plague. I had no idea why he disliked me so much. Apparently, I was found tolerable enough to date for a while and then once we weren’t together, I was the most annoying creature on the planet.

Lastly in middle school was the guy I had my first kiss with and I pretty much fell head-over-heels for him. Unfortunately it was purely a physical relationship with me on his end. He just wouldn’t be my boyfriend, but he’d make out with me behind the buildings after school. This tore me up, especially when he ended up going out with one of my friends. I was always crying and so self-absorbed about it. Needless to say, my first real heartbreak wasn’t dealt with very well. Looking back on it, I feel so embarrassed about it. As far as the stereotypical “female goes chasing the pint of ice cream”, that’s not me. I tend to go the opposite way and don’t feel up to eating at all lol. I just want to be left alone, be all emo with my music and cry it out (or at that time, write it out as well lol).

High school relationships were all over the place – the first I can’t remember who broke up with whom, but we kind of remained friends until his behavior just got more stupid (as stupid as boys who seem to have just found their penis can get ). The 2nd, I only went out with him for a couple of days and broke it off. If I ever got a preview into what it would’ve been like to be in a relationship with a clinger, it was that one. I was fearful when it came to breaking up with him! He had a reputation that preceded him and I didn’t pay it attention. After I broke up with him, at one point, he threw my backpack up on a school building. I had actually done my homework the night before, and I never do my homework! Lastly was my first high school sweetheart.

That went on & off forever. I broke up with him the first time, then it was mutual the 2nd time. Finally, I wanted back together with him and I did everything I could think of to make him want to be with me again. It finally worked, but after working so hard and being so hung up on him for so long, I’d finally moved on and turned him down. The timing never seemed right

Minus a short stint with a guy at my 2nd high school, I met my husband and well, we’ve had our “break-up level” issues, but we’re together and working things out and so far so good.

Strangely enough, the most romantic moment of my life would probably be the time I was simply spending time, holding hands and walking around various exhibits at the Los Angeles County Faire back with one of my middle school boyfriends. It’s really the simple things that make me happy and satisfy any romance I may be craving. It’s as easy as just being there with me, enjoying the sights, holding my hand with some conversation, to satisfy my want for romance.

To be honest, I can’t remember ever receiving a big romantic gesture, but I appreciate the smaller, almost effortless ones as much. Presenting me with little things that let me know you were thinking of me is big – a favorite drink, snack, candy, a flower… whatever, it doesn’t matter, it makes me happy As the saying goes, it’s the thought that counts!

I’m sad to say that there hasn’t been too much romance since I’ve been with the husband. There’ve been a few things over the course of our relationship that he’s done that has surprised me but in general, I don’t expect a lot in the romance department lol. My mom has the same issue with my dad. Strangely enough, the husband is a LOT like my dad, personality wise so I guess if I can expect it from one, I should expect it from the other . It’s kind of sad, but not all guys have that gene, I suppose.

Of course, as any other girl would, I get jealous when I hear about the big (or little) gestures that are made in my friends’ relationships. I’d love to have more of it. BUT, I love my husband and I didn’t come into this relationship under the pretense that he’s a romantic. He has his moments, but overall, it’s not his style .

I’m sure there may be something he does that’ll top my romantic day with a middle school boyfriend – after all, we should have the rest of our lives together for it to happen! If not, well, I’ll just make sure to find myself a more romantic guy