I’ve never thought of myself as angry person, but I’ve realized that I’ve felt a lot of anger over the past few years. Not to mention, I seem to let myself feel it more easily than I ever have before. I hate it. Anger is such an exhausting emotion for me. I don’t understand how people can be so angry all the time and be so comfortable holding onto it.

Right now, I’m angry with things I can’t control. Customers at work, the status quo… Like, seriously, I’m angry with these things? I used to pride myself on letting shit roll off my back like water on a duck’s feathers. I think that’s why I ended up with a diagnosis of mild-to-moderate depression as I was getting out of the Air Force. I became so angry with things and my body wasn’t used to it so it just fucked me up beyond what I could handle on my own. After going on Zoloft, it helped me a lot. I haven’t been on it in months due to an expired prescription and a lapse in health insurance, but I believe I need to be back on it.

I don’t want to be angry and I shouldn’t be if I can somehow control – if not on my own, than with medication. I’m fine with that. It’s not simply being angry because something didn’t go right, because while I’ll be angry if something doesn’t go right, I can get over it in a short time. It’s when I’m sucked dry emotionally that it’s a problem.

I grew up with angst. Classic teenage angst. A combination of being angry with the world in general and sadness. Classic dumb shit. That is so not the game being played now.

How do you keep from exhausting yourself emotionally?