I act unashamed
but am secretly embarrassed,
hoping I didn’t turn off everyone around me.
I want to be noticed
& paid attention to,
but still be considered
dark & mysterious,
an enigma.
I’m an open book
but I still don’t want to give it all away.
I embrace my loud & obnoxious side
but deny the more disgusting
yet natural
things I do.

I am strong
and above the petty selfishness
and narcissism of them,
but so badly want to be in their shoes,
to be envied
and hated
because I’m too thin
or rich.
I’m un-offended
but so soft,
sensitive,
and fragile inside.

as much as I’d like to be,
I’m not comfortable in my own skin